The Gifts of the Wounded

Isaiah 30:26, "Moreover the light of the moon will be as the light of the sun, And the light of the sun will be sevenfold, As the light of seven days, In the day that the Lord binds up the bruise of His people And heals the stroke of their wound."

Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds."

Romans 5:3-4, "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Sometime over the past 6 weeks, I injured my toe. I wasn't aware that I injured it but after a few days, it became apparent. The nail began turning colors which I actually thought was dye from my shoes and/or socks. I didn't pay much attention until a few weeks later when the nail began to separate ever so slightly. Oddly enough, I didn't feel too much pain or discomfort so by the time I'd realized how "injured" the toe really was, I couldn't remember stubbing it, dropping anything on it, nor catching it on anything. But as the nail began to separate from the nail bed, it began to hurt. It began to get raw underneath the nail that was trying to fall off. It began to catch on covers while I slept, socks when I wore them and even the towels when I dried off. I had to tend to that nail, trim it as it grew out, filing jagged edges, and keeping it clean and sanitized. It's hard to protect that wound from outside influences so I wrapped a band aid around it and continued to go on my way. It's almost all the way off now and new growth beneath is assisting in that process. I barely even notice it any longer, but I know it's still there.

Healing Through the Lord!

From this non-emergency injury, flowed all kinds of ideas for this posting. Of course, it wasn't until last night that I was led to actually put together some thoughts and be led to write this. For those of you who are regular readers, you will remember several posts that was born out of an experience or a traumatic event. One of those can be found here called, "When Life Spins Out of Control, Let God Drive" which was literally born out of a black ice, out of control spin out going to work! Inspiration comes to me in many different forms and ways and when the prompting is strong, I know I'm to follow suit and write. This is such the case. Wounds. Although my wounded toe is nothing to write about in and of itself, the subject is! We all have wounds, or have been wounded. We all carry around with us emotional wounds, physical wounds, spiritual wounds and mental wounds. As long as we are living in this fallen, dark-filled world, we will be wounded. No escaping it. There are deep wounds, very deep, all-encompassing wounds in our daily lives that are just as vulnerable but not always are seen and those not always up front and center where everyone can see them. These are the spiritual wounds. Those negative spiritual effects of painful physical events, some short lived and some chronic that leave emotional and mental wounds as well. In particular, the chronic ones that we’ve pushed so far down into the recesses of our minds that it seemed like they had healed, only to find out they hadn’t and residual effects were dormant. Betrayal, rejection, sin, loss, sickness, physical disabilities, trauma or abuse. They can cut you to the core, deeply laying open exposed pain, and the wounds can remain open long after you thought you've dealt with it all. I understand many of those wounds as I've had to deal with them. I must admit though, some were harder to deal with and heal then others. Part of which was my own fault for not being willing to commit to the process or not allowing the Great Healer to do what He was waiting for me to surrender to Him to do for me on my behalf! It was during my healing processes and my journey that I realized there's greatness in being wounded, and that woundedness is also a gift!

Some of those wounds are still hard to talk about and I speak of them only as I'm called to do. If I'm feeling led to share something with someone, I know the Lord is calling me to do so and I will gladly share my experience(s). They don't effect me in the same way as they once did but nonetheless, I've endured them and I've had a long healing process in order to overcome. The Great Physician can completely heal our broken hearts, replace abuse with loving kindness, forgive our sins, and bind up our wounds, healing and making us whole again. Making us whole again and healing us doesn't mean we will never feel those emotions or forget all of it. It also doesn't mean we will be protected from ever experiencing being wounded again. In fact, in the face of reality, it doesn't even mean our physical infirmities will be restored fully. Just like my toe, I didn't really feel it or notice it when it happened until the nail was pulling away from the bed and another nail was growing beneath it, it then became a delayed painful response to something that hadn't had an immediate impact in the first place. So too can our deep wounds react the same. For every wound, for every painful trial, for every situation that was traumatic, abusive, toxic, there will be residual scars, some delayed reactions and most always, a long healing process. It's individual and is based on what purpose we have in those experiences for the Kingdom! Some of my wounds healed quickly and some took some time. I still deal with some physical problems that have occurred from my accident but I've also became stronger through the wounds I've had to endure. In some ways, my blog ministry was also part of my process as I was led to start this a month before my accident. God knew what He was doing, because I sure didn't understand!  Healing never happens overnight! Not even for a paper cut on our finger! We shouldn't expect any different for our spiritual, emotional, physical and mental wounds either! Everything is a process and takes time. In God's time, not ours! However, just as with any physical wound we may receive, we have a certain role to play in our healing to partner with The Ultimate Healer in our recovery and restoration! Sure, sometimes God chooses to work a miracle in our lives, as I've shared my brain cyst miracle with you here called, "Healing Miracles." He can choose to heal us immediately of the pain, suffering, trauma and abuse and completely binding up our wounds for good. It can happen! I'm living proof of that very healing! My wounds became my gifts!

For those of you who are new to my blog, let me give a little back story to my blog ministry. This back story can tie nicely into the wounds being a gift as you will soon see! A month before my accident that happened in October of 2012, the Lord called me to begin this blog ministry. It came to me so suddenly, so brightly, so intensely that I couldn't ignore the prompting. It was clear and literally from the moment I felt "compelled" and heard His direction in my spirit, to the conception of the blog, was all of two days! I was SO compelled that I knew better than to procrastinate on this and, instead, obeyed Him fervently! At the time, I had no idea why I was being "pushed" so hard to learn this ministry but I obeyed because I knew it was from God! From the first few articles I posted and wrote for this blog in its conception, which were very minimalistic at best, until where the Lord has brought me to at this point in this ministry, has been truly amazing! It wasn't until a few years later after I'd started my blog though, when I was able to see why this blog was so important for me to do and why the Lord dropped a boulder on my head to get my attention enough to do it quickly. I had just enough time to teach myself how to start this blog, what avenue to use in getting it out there, how to design it, and what its content should be, before my accident. There was a sense of urgency though, this I can remember clearly to this day! My accident and this blog went hand-in-hand. It was one of my "Moment of Impact" that I also wrote about here. It would soon become very clear why the Lord gave me this ministry. I'm not able to verbally describe things or explain things the way I USED to do before the accident, or in as much detail mainly because of the recall/short term memory issue I struggled with and still have to struggle with to some degree now.

I'd stammer for the knowledge stuck in my head. I can verbally explain things better now, but it just takes me a little bit longer with a little bit more frustration in getting it from my "storage room" to the audience. Memorization was a huge issue and still is to this day, although not as bad. This issue became a little more evident as I was delving deeper into this ministry. It was then that I realized I didn't lose my writing ability! Then just as that was a defining moment, it became another moment of impact for me as well. For as long as I can remember, I've written poetry. A few of which I have posted on this site. God inspired, gave me the talent and allowed that wonderful gift to flourish.....until my mother passed over! I used to write two to three, sometimes more, a month. When mom passed over in 2004, something happened. It was like not only was my breath taken from me, but the words of my poetry left too. I found myself not being able to write, unable to be inspired. She was always my best audience and supporter, mostly praising me but sometimes, critiquing what needed to be corrected. She loved my poetry in a way a mother would but also in a way that inspired me and guided me as well. She'd always encourage me to share them with others. After her passing, I wrote three about her and her passing, shortly after she went home to be with the Lord. Then I was dry as a bone for years. I've written maybe 10 total, including her three, since 2004 through 2014. I've prayed and begged and pleaded for the Lord to inspire me, for Him to allow me to write again....but nothing. Well, as we know, God gives and takes away!

Only God Heals All Wounds

I was devastated by my inability to write my poetry because it was such a big part of ME. But that was just it. It was about ME. It was FOR ME. I may have shared them sporadically with others here and there, always sharing them with my mom, but ultimately, it was for me. It was my outlet. During this time of being dragged through the hot dry desert, I didn't realize that was the reason my ability to write was being slowly taken away from me. Until.....the blog ministry was thrust upon me as only a Loving God can accomplish! Until this moment of impact. God never took my ability to write from me at all. He took WHAT I was writing, WHO I was writing it for, and HOW I was writing. The WHAT was my inner most thoughts and experiences, spiritual and emotional, the WHO was for ME and a select FEW I'd share them with, and the HOW was poetry. In place of what He took, He was prepping me, guiding me, directing me, and leading me to THIS! To my blog for all of YOU! The WHAT turned into His Word and Gospel. The WHO turned into all of YOU. The HOW turned into writing lessons and these posts. What an AWESOME God is HE! There was one incident that pushed me into this blog, by divine appointment, to get me ready for what was going to happen shortly after. That incident spearheaded my desire, my deep desire to be in a ministry that would touch others. A ministry that I could use what God gave me and blessed me with to reach others. I wanted to "help" and "serve" others but never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have to be that "wounded" in order to accomplish His Perfect Will for me! Another moment of impact....one led right into the other. Anyway, God replaced what He took from me but kept my writing ability in tact and redirected it to what has now become my ministry. This ministry was born. He is in control now, just as much as He was then! He went before me this whole time. He knew before I did the outcome. God took away my poetry writing so that I could be used to write this ministry for HIM and His people and to have it reach the far corners of the earth for whoever He brought to the blog and for such a time as this! How humbling for me to realize that all He took away was the way I wrote, but not my ability to write. So much more has been a blessing throughout my moment of impact in the accident! Too many to name.

So you see, my accident, the hardships of the physical wounds which turned into emotional and spiritual wounds became a ministry for me to share all of my other experiences, testimonies and the Love, Mercy and Grace of our Lord and Savior in a way that I wouldn't be able to any other way! This forum really was my outlet to get some of my wounds out there to others who are going through some of the same things, dealing with some of the same emotions, healing some of the same pains. I wanted to let everyone who comes to these writings to know they are not alone because in many of my own times of troubles, trauma, issues, I did feel alone. I wasn't, because God was there all along, but I sure felt alone and it's not a good feeling! In my experiences, it seemed like the deeper the wound, the greater the gift! You see, as trial upon trial and hardship upon hardship kept piling up, it overwhelmed me to the point that I was trying to "heal" myself, trying to hide my pain, trying to pretend I had everything under control. I didn't! Not even close! I felt life spinning out of control and I felt out of control myself. But during all of it, I was being taught some amazing things! I've always been gifted with patience but God took it to another level! Irritating to most but another level nonetheless! I was gifted with a stronger Faith through those wounds than I'd ever imagined receiving! I was gifted an ability to reach others through a wonderful forum such as this and to be able to share some of those experiences. I was gifted with being an example of what it looks like to endure through the worst of the storms but still maintain my sense of humor and positive outlook. I've become an example, a living example of sharing the gifts by being wounded. It doesn't feel all warm and fuzzy to be wounded nor to carry around those wounds. But Jesus Christ didn't feel warm and fuzzy as He was nailed to the Cross, lashed until His flesh was falling off, cried tears of Blood, because our Sacrifice, dying on the Cross to pay our sin debt in full! If He did that for all of us, and for a wretch like me, I'm sure I can endure the wounds that I've had to bear!

His Wounds Healed Us

There is hidden mercy in every single wound, sufferings and pain! In our woundedness, we can truly become a source of life and light to others around us, who are watching us, who might be learning from our actions, and who are in need of mercy to heal their own wounds. All of our wounds, no matter if they are mental health conditions, grief, loss, chronic illness, abuse, trauma, or physical disabilities, inevitably give us plenty of opportunity to know the suffering of others. We can know their pain first hand because we felt it or experienced it first hand. We may deal with them differently and individually, but sharing in it together is a wonderful way to show mercy! It enables us to see things in the wounded that others don't suffer similarly can't see. This truly binds us together, fostering empathy, understanding, compassion and love. With my strong faith, I can see just how our wounds can give us access to God and not to blame Him for our suffering or loss or the wounds we endure. You see, when we suffer, we need to draw closer to the very character of the God who suffers because He became flesh and died for us! No greater suffering than sacrificing His Only Begotten Son for the world! A world that sadly still rejects Him and the unselfish, loving Gift He gave to us FREE! Our wounds should be seen as the cracks that shine the Light of Jesus Christ through! I wrote an article regarding being "The Cracked Pots in God's Kingdom" that can be found here. It's worth a read when you have time. In the middle of all the chaos, trauma, pain and suffering and in the midst of all the wounds you will endure or have endured, you need to pray, wait, pray some more and wait for His answers and ask Him what is your purpose. What are you here for? Be willing and obedient to be led to and into then through the fire of refining. I kept asking. I kept praying and I'm still praying and I kept waiting. In His own timing His will be done! I realized my greatest gifts came out of what wounded me the most. My greatest understanding came from not understanding the worldly ways but rather through the understanding of my Savior and the knowledge and wisdom He shone upon me.

So for many of us, spiritual healing will be a process. Luke 10:34, "So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him." Healing takes time and is a process. Here are some steps to healing, and although they aren't easy and without time, they will help get you on your way.

CLEANSE THE WOUND!
1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Spiritual wounds must be cleansed thoroughly just like our physical wounds but the preparation in doing so can be a very painful process. We need to start with prayer, coming to Jesus Christ humbly and earnestly asking in faith that He heal us and restore us. As much as we must ask and prepare to cleanse, we must be willing to receive the healing. Oftentimes, most spiritual wounds are caused by others and our wounds are a direct result of that causation, we ourselves can also be the cause of our spiritual damage. It really doesn't matter what the cause is or who caused the wounds, the root of it all is the sin of unforgiveness. We need to ask God to help us forgive those who people that have hurt us and to ask for Him to forgive us of our wrongdoing or the part that we may have taken in it. You see, forgiveness is a choice, a very hard choice, that has to be made to break the cycle of chronic spiritual debilitation and bondage. The cycle can be broken though! When we choose and learn to forgive, we also are able to purge bitterness, strife, resentfulness, hurt, anger, guilt, self-pity, all kinds of toxins that would otherwise negatively affect the wound and hinder its ability to completely heal.

PROTECT THE WOUND!
Psalm 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds."

Just as I bandaged up my toe's wound for protection from bacteria and from things around me that could possibly do further damage, our spiritual wounds must also be guarded from the lurking outside forces that could slow, or even stop, the healing. Sometimes, even causing more injury. While trusting that God is doing His part to bind up our spiritual wounds to ultimately heal us, we can help by vigilantly protecting our wounds. But how do we do that? By the renewing of the mind. Romans 12:2, "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." There's clearly transformation and healing in the renewing of our mind! The mind has alot to do with our spiritual wounds. It might seem like it but our minds are where the spiritual wound’s hold over us is housed. In our flesh, everything hurts from what has been done to us or from our own self-inflicted pain. It’s through our flesh that we become mired in self-pity. But you see, it's when we focus on our own pain and suffering and wounds that we open ourselves up to the enemy! We then are dwelling on the hurt instead of believing in the healing. However, we can strongly and aggressively come against the enemy by focusing on the things of God, the positive things of God, and what He’d have us do while awaiting our healing. The enemy wants us to stay focused on ourselves and off of others. He doesn't want us to start ministering to others in Christ Jesus' name but that's EXACTLY what we must do!

MONITOR THE WOUND!
1 Peter 5:8, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour."

When our spiritual wounds aren’t closely monitored, we run the very real risk of a nasty infection. It's really no different than any physical injury that we have to monitor, cleanse and keep protected. If we don't monitor our spiritual wounds, that infection can quickly spread to the rest of our lives, infecting and poisoning our faith, poison our relationship with Him and with others. When this happens, we’re inevitably destined for more of the same thing. More chronic spiritual wounds, more chronic infections and the inability to experience true liberty in Christ. The enemy wants nothing more than for all of us to keep dwelling on the injustice that we've endured, all of the physical pain that has been thrust upon us, all of the emotional trauma that we've had to endure so he could infect us with more anger, hurt, and doubt of our own healing. Just more lies from the enemy! This is exactly how he attempts to manipulate us from surrendering our pain to God so that we could receive His healing.  Satan knows that when our wounds are truly and fully healed that we're going to give all the glory to God and no longer be in bondage to him. Bondage is exactly where the enemy wants to keep us and he will do what he can to accomplish it. So in order for our wounds to completely heal, we need to continue to monitor the process of cleansing those wounds and protecting them until they become scars. We have to closely examine them for the first signs of infection! We must closely examine our open wounds and continue to make sure they are free from any "dirt" or "debris" so we can continue the healing process fully and completely!

Those are some of the ways to to help you heal. Through each wound, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual, a gift emerges. These gifts help us to minister to other like minded sufferers and to understand on different levels of their suffering. God doesn't punish us but He does discipline us and sometimes, the wounds are disciplinary while others are a result of other people. Since God knows everything about each of us and has a purpose and divine plan for all of our ups and downs, highs and lows, wounds and healing, then we must trust Him for the gifts He will bestow upon us as a result OF those wounds! He never promised life on this side of Heaven was going to be easy and without pain. Just the opposite! John 15:18-20, "If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19) If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20) Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also." Our wounds have a purpose. Our wounds produces gifts that we might not have otherwise received. The gifts of the wounded can be healing and loving and giving of mercy. They can understand and encourage and empathize. Sometimes just healing a wounded heart can make a profound impact on the rest of your life. Whatever the will of God is, so shall it be! In each wound a gift resides and it's up to you to receive it. In each wound is individual struggles that are unique to each one of us. In order to find the gift and receive it through the wound, the wound must be allowed to heal through the power of the Lord Jesus Christ!



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